Lack of high performance is the hidden cause of cofounder conflict

There is so much advice out there about how to choose your cofounder, how to split equity, and how to manage conflict. The piece that is usually left out, though, is one of the most important parts of a successful cofounder relationship - getting the work done.

The three legs of a cofounder relationship

There are three pieces of a healthy cofounder relationship

1. Clearly defined roles and responsibilities
2. Working through conflict and disagreement
3. High performance from both cofounders

Numbers 1 and 2 are the stuff of most cofounder advice. There's lots out there about how to divide work up to avoid stepping on each other. There's also a ton of touchy-feely advice about managing conflict and the other big feels that cofounding brings.

However, number 3, high performance, is as important and usually overlooked. Here's how to avoid ending up feeling like your cofounder isn't pulling their weight.

Why high performance from a cofounder is so important.

Cofounder relationships are a complicated mixture of the personal and the professional, but the core reason for them to exist is to build a business. And we all know that startups face overwhelming odds against their success.

Startup founders don't luck into success - they work for it. The single most controllable aspect of starting a business is your performance and your cofounder's. And since the very reason you are paired up (or tripled up) is to build a successful business, your performance is very much their business and their performance yours.

One thing I noticed over the course of my cofounding is that fights that seemed like they were in one of the other domains - about roles, or about conflict - were actually about performance. It's easier to get mad at your cofounder when they seem to be messing around in your domain than it is to ask either why you didn't get to that task first or why they are encroaching on your responsibility when they haven't finished their own work.

What is high performance?

I ran large teams in corporate America for a long time before becoming an old (cranky) startup founder. I've rarely seen bad teams, but the default setting in the corporate world is mediocre. And I've led strong teams.

Here's the secret of what makes a great team:
People do what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it.

That's all. That's it. It really is that simple.

Note what's in that simple statement:

• There's a plan - that's how we know what to do
• There's a clear assignment of responsibility - that's how we know who is going to do it
• There's a deadline and sequencing of tasks - that's how we know when to expect completion
• There's accountability - a teammate said they would do it

Think back to your last cofounder conflict. Was one of these elements present? I bet so. And so it's important both to perform well yourself, and to demonstrate to your cofounder that you are performing well.

How to be a high-performing cofounder team

The what is always so much easier than the how, isn't it? Here's a framework for how to get you started.

First, get shit written down

You probably know what you need to get done over the next quarter or two, but do you have it written down? Don't start together - it'll take too long. Also, don't overcomplicate, just do. You can use Notion or Monday or Trello or Airtable, but really a Google sheet is fine and gets you started.

Write down your key deliverables, and start listing tasks and smaller pieces underneath each. Have your cofounder do the same. Sit down and make sure you have everything you need to get done, and that each item is owned by one of you (even if you have an employee or a contractor who is going to do the work).

Here are some key questions for you to consider:

• If we accomplish 80% of this over the next 3 months and 6 months, is our startup in the right place for whatever the next steps are?
• Is this amount of work challenging yet doable given current resources?
• Is it allocated fairly between us?
• Is there work neither of us knows how to do, and how can we get some support?
• Given our respective backgrounds, are we missing anything because we're unfamiliar with that area?
• What are the areas most likely to go wrong? How do we create early warning systems that we're going to have an issue?

Now go through your list and add due dates and owners for each item. Tasks should be small enough that they are delivered within 1-2 weeks, otherwise break things down further. Make sure this is a shared list. Bookmark it.

Schedule regular accountability meetings

The most important of these is a 30-minute weekly meeting. Take your shared list, and before you meet, mark the status of each of your current tasks. Done, in progress, in trouble, not started - something like that. Be honest.

Then you have your meeting. The goal is 80% complete on doing what you said you were going to do. Why not 100%? Two reasons. First, lots of projects end up being more complex as you get into them. This is a law of the universe, I think, since the reverse rarely happens. Second, new and urgent items are going to be added to your list, #startuplife. You'll need to deal with those.

It's important that you're honest and direct with each other when you meet. This is the time to work out issues, solve problems of motivation (hint: anxiety is usually at the root), figure out staffing and spending, etc.

It's nice to have a longer monthly meeting. Do your usual review, and also talk about whether you're on the right track overall and what adjustments you might need to make.

And finally, sit down for half a day quarterly with a whiteboard. Walk through progress so far, what's going on in your space, and what the next quarter needs to look like.

What if you're not a high-performing cofounder team?

Uh oh.

If it's you, you owe it to your cofounder to get to the root of your issues ASAP. Are you anxious? Exhausted? Uninterested? Stressed? In a role you don't feel comfortable in? Sort it out. Fast. Otherwise, you'll end up being the cofounder who doesn't scale.

If it's your cofounder, they owe you an answer. And, as I've written before, if you can't fix it fast, boot them or leave them. Otherwise, you're wasting your time and damaging your relationships with them and eventually with your teammates and investors.

Perform well, feel better

If you and your cofounder are performing, you'll both feel better. Conflict won't disappear and issues with roles and responsibilities will occasionally rear up, but you'll have built the trust that you are both doing your jobs. Navigating stormy seas will be much easier.

I'm not your lawyer, your therapist, your advisor, or your accountant. We're just internet friends, and these are just my experiences and personal opinions. Consult professionals for advice before you make any sudden moves in your startup.

You will see the occasional affiliate link. I do earn a commission if you buy the products I recommend. I appreciate you buying through the links if you're going to buy. This is a labor of love for my fellow cofounders, and I do love receiving a few coins to pay hosting costs if you like my work.